State of the Dork Address

Hey Folx it’s your favorite slackass… That’d be me if i’m not your favorite slackass… well I’ll go cry in my beer later.

Gearing up to Try to get back into the pimpage again, yeah you’ve heard it before and likely will hear it again… hopefully not for a while and hopefully I’ll get back in the swing of things soon.

Ma isn’t doing well, so my head is not in a  good space right now she’s not eating which means she’s getting weaker her immune system is still tanked her medsd aren’t doing a fucking thing yet the doctors still insist she purchase them (If I find out that any of her docs are getting kickbacks on those useless drugs they refuse to take her off of even though they aren’t having any effect I’ll make sure they never practice medicine again if I have to chew their freaking fingers off to do so) She goes in Friday for a pic line (feeding line) so they can get nourishment in her and maybe some antibiotics – If her cardiologist signs off on it she goes in to have about 75% of her colon removed and the rest resectioned on the 8th.  My Ma’s health has been part of the family drama that has had me on the sidelines most of the year between that and issues with my 18 year old it’s been a dramatic year… have I mentioned I hate Drama.

Things are starting to wind down I hope to start making semi regular posts this month but we all know how many times I’ve said that in the past.

If you could spare a moment and send some positive thoughts or prayers or white light ( or whatever your belief or lack thereof system uses) my ma’s way I appreciate it greatly.  Her name is Shirley Asplund.  She’s the toughest person I know and she’s in the most agony I’ve ever seen her.

At this stage I wish her peace and to be free of pain… Whether in life or death, I just want her suffering to end, you bet your ass I’d prefer in life if I can have it, but I’m not that selfish of a prick to demand my mother live in agony just because I can’t let go.

Worthy Cause – Local Volunteer Emergency Services

My Dad was a volunteer Firefighter when I was little – Hell before I was born, he also dove for the Sheriff’s Marine Unite pulling bodies out of Lakes and Rivers.  Later in life I actually earned myself a EMT-D Certification, I have many family members and friends that have been part of Emergency Services – Fire, Police, Medics, Rescue.  The Volunteer services need your support, almost every town I can think of has at least one volunteer department out of the three, sometimes more than one under the same building.  One thing I’d like you to take into consideration – these crazy er… brave men and women run into danger to keep you safe from it.  These men and women deserve our help, our support, and our thanks.  If you know anyone that takes parts in these services – Thank them for me – or point them here to the blog so they can read my thanks themselves.

Do what you can to help out your local volunteer departments, a few bucks here at their local chili dinners, or whatever fundraisers they put up goes to help them keep you and yours SAFER what better cause is that.

No links because there are too many communities to link all the volunteer services – this one is gonna require legwork.

If you are a volunteer Fire Fighter, Medic, or Officer, or take part in any other volunteer activity associated with Rescue / Public Safety that I’ve overlooked (and if I have I apologize but leave a comment and educate me) I thank you.  People like you are what gives me hope that mankind is not past the point of redemption.  Be safe.

Atheists can stop reading at this point, it’ll just piss you off.

Lord bless the men and women who look after the rest of us, guide them, give them the strength and endurance to perform their tasks then bring them home safe and sound, and thank you for their shining example. Amen.

Our Guys and Gals in Uniform

Sunday marks the day we in America celebrate our Independence.  It’s a very special day to all of us though most of us use it as an excuse to get obliterated then obliterate things with small explosive charges.  I want to stand back a moment and appreciate the men and Women who have served this nation proudly, are currently serving proudly, and those that will serve proudly, and their families.

To those of you in the armed forces keeping our way of life safe here and abroad thank you.  I can never truly express how proud I am when I see a man or woman walking down the street in uniform.  I want to stop and say thank you but I’m a shy coward.  I truly do thank you and am proud to have been in your presence.

To the families of the men and women who serve, I thank you for the courage to support your loved one.  I pray they make it back to you safe and sound.  To those that have lost loved ones, I truly cannot begin to know how you feel, and honestly I pray that I never find out as I have a son and nephew / unofficial Godson that plan on joining the military.  My condolences to you, and my gratitude towards your loved one’s sacrifice.

There are others closer to home that need to be thought of.  Our Police and Fire Departments and our EMS Crews out there close to home protecting us.  They risk their lives on a daily basis too.  Hell police can get drawn on for pulling someone over for speeding, firefighters run INTO buildings that most sane people are running out of to save our asses, and medics are sometimes up to their elbows in bio hazardous substances to put us back together.   Thank you.

To ALL of our protectors out there I believe we live in a very fucked up place where a guy can get millions for carrying a ball down a field hopped up on steroids and who knows what else, and you get paid too little to protect our lives and freedom from enemies foreign and domestic.

Next time you see a hero in uniform (or out if you know they’re off duty/ on leave) thank them.  Thank them for all the ungrateful fucks out there that forget to thank them.  And please thank them for me, Richard D. Asplund Jr.

Needless to say if you have served / are serving either in the Military, or our local Law, Fire and EMS services and are reading this thank you.  If you know someone that has served / is serving  please forward them the link to this post.  And don’t forget to thank them.  I don’t think we could ever thank them enough if we each thanked them all every second for the next billion seconds.

Thank you for your time.  Americans / Those visiting America – Have a safe, happy , and fun Interdependence day.  For those outside the US Happy 4th of July / Sunday.

Many thanks to two people that I have likely inspired me more than any other.

Rewind 24 years, we had a 12 year old boy that wasn’t overly fond of reading. Said boy got a nasty flu and had to be picked up from school and kept home for several days. On the way home from school Mom side tripped to K Mart and the boy saw a boxed set of novels that caught his eye. Mom noticed this bought it, said boy started reading book one soon as they were in the car had the first book finished in about 2 days and was well into the second book. inside a week the whole Trilogy was finished adn I… er said boy started reading it all over again. The authors of the trilogy were Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis and that trilogy was not The Dragonlance Chronicles, or even the Legends (Twins) it wasn’t Dragonlance at all it was the Darksword Trilogy – Which apparently as of a search I did last nigh now has a 4th book to it that I must acquire and devour.

I didn’t even learn about Dragonlance for another 3 years. (I quickly devoured as many of those as I was able to get my hands on too.)

I have many Literary heroes but I’ve actually gotten to meet two of them up close and personal and have very brief conversations with them during GenCon – I haven’t had a chance to go in years but of all the years of going my greatest thrill was speaking with them and getting my paperback copies of Chronicles signed – My wife gets mad at me because she’ll reach up to grab one to read and I’ll freak out (she’s a cover bender and I try to keep my books decent – don’t always succeed but I try)

Tracy and Margaret took a fat weak cowardly boy, and showed me that even I could be the hero of my own story through the characters in their novels (and the other authors that also had given their voices to Dragonlance especially Michael Williams with Weasel’s Luck and Galen Beknighted). The characters spoke to me I could see pieces of myself in many of the heroes and some of the villains and they actually made me take a good hard look at myself and made me think of what I wanted to do with my life what path I wanted to tread to be the hero or the villain. That helped a lot with my life thank you.

Tracy his son Curtis and Howard Tayler (You might remember Howard’s brief Pimpage in Those that Help – He’s part of Writing Excuses which I apparently spelled his name wrong My apologies Howard)have recently released XDM Xtreme Dungeon Mastery – a very funny very astute look at gaming and bringing fun and excitement back to the table. In recent years the games I’ve attended I started falling asleep at the table (well we had 12 players and more than an agreeable amount of rules lawyers then again 1 isn’t an agreeable amount because the freaking ARGUE all the time whoops this isn’t my rant blog this is my pimpage blog need to reel it in here.) because of all the rules bickering and asking to be woken when it was two players before my turn so I can spend 20 minutes formulating my 6 second round and not delay anyone else (sometimes I still had an additional 20 minutes to goof off to boot)The games I’ve been playing in sorely needed this book. I sorely needed this book. Found out that a couple of DMs that I’ve gamed with and myself instinctively used parts of this book before it even sprang into existence. It’s part satire, and part common sense with a little dash of uncommon sense with a sprig of HOLY CRAP THAT’S COOL with a little bit of [REDACTED]. I’ll rate it further when I have a chance to finish the book and use some of it’s secrets. (My brother-in-law managed to pick me up a copy at Gencon and had it autographed. It’s been rainy so it stays safe at the house out of the possibility of a torrential downpour)

Sites for Tracy and Margaret can be found below.

All in all I just wanted to say Thank you to Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis for inspiring me to read, and to dream a little more while I’m at it.

http://trhickman.com/

http://xtremedungeonmastery.com/
http://killerbreakfast.com/
http://www.margaretweis.com/wp/

Those that protect our collective asses.

This last weekend we celebrated Independence day here in the US, non US Citizens would remember it as Saturday.

In light of this holiday and what it means I want to throw out a random pimpage for our men and women that serve and protect our asses on a daily basis.

To our men and women who have served in the past, are currently serving, or will one day serve – Thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the courage ad strength to do something that I physically (and likely emotionally and psychologically) could not endure. Thank you for defending our freedom, thank you fro protecting our way of life, may you come home safe to your family and friends.

To those in the emergency services (Police, Fire, and EMS) Thank you for being here to pick our asses up after stupidity (our own or that of someone else) comes rushing like a freight train into our lives. Thank you for being here to help pick up the pieces and set us back on the path.

To those who have lost a loved one in the line of duty – my heartfelt condolences at your loss, and my thanks for their service.

Too often these heroes get overlooked and ignored, or spit upon while they’re doing their jobs to keep our ingratious asses safe so that we have the privilege to spit in their faces. To those that too often mock these brave men and women I hope one day you don’t have to look into their eyes as they pull your ass out of harms way. Because I know I wouldn’t be able to bear the shame if I treated these folks like that.

God bless the men and women who keep us safe both on foreign soil and our own. Thank God for the bravery the blood the sweat and the tears these folks shed every day so we can sit and whine about petty things in our air conditioning and coffee shops.

Please keep our protectors safe and let them come home to be with their family, I can’t wait for the day when we grow up enough so that we don’t need their services anymore, but until we arrive at that day thank God we have people willing to serve. I know it’s a dream but that is a dream worth having and a dream worth striving for.

Usually I’m a smart ass and a cynical jerk – But this is one thing that I hold very dear to my heart and I don’t think our protectors get nearly enough credit that they deserve. I am lucky enough to have many friends in Law Enforcement, EMS, Fire, and the Military and I used to take those professions for granted but knowing some of what these great people have to endure to keep us safe I know that I can never thank them enough. But I have to try to thank them as much as I can.