Turning the Clock Back

It’s that season once again… no not Christmas this hasn’t been Christmas for way to freaking long it’s BUYMECRAPMAS!!!!!

In the Spirit of BuymeCrapmas I’ve written a little caroal – still a WIP but her it is so far – Buy Me Crap – (to the tune of let it snow)

Buy Me Crap

Oh the children’s faces are Frightful
Buy the wrong toys they’ll be spitefull
No time to give presents a Wrap
Buy me Crap! Buy me Crap! Buy me Crap!

Tis the season for shopping
This damn list will keep he hopping
No time to take a nap
Buy me Crap! Buy me Crap! Buy me Crap!

When we finally finish the lists
How I’ll hate to see the Credit Card Bill
Money will really be tight
Next year I’ll be paying Still

My funds are quickly dying
And the brats are still freaking Buying
I’m about ready to snap
Buy me Crap! Buy me Crap! Buy me Crap!

 

I understand some of you are Atheists, or Jewish, or Satanists or (insert belief or lack thereof system here) but I dont’ piss on your holidays please don’t piss on mine.

For the rest of us that actually celebrate Christmas – let us please try to get our holiday back on track – I’m not saying to not buy your kids or (insert gift recipient here) but can we make sure to make the holiday into more than just the presents.  Remind our kids what the season is about, what it meant, what it is supposed to still mean.  This time of year is not just about the birth of our savior but also about rebirth, the days start getting longer, the rebirth of the light, love for our fellow man no matter what the fuck they believe.  Lets take the holiday back from the stores and put it back in our hearts where it belongs….  I’m getting off my soapbox now.

and I hope you have a lousy buymecrapmas but a wonderful Christmas, and if you don’t celebrate Christmas I still wish you a wonderful one on top of whatever you do celebrate this time of year unless of course it is buymecrapmas…

State of the Dork Address

Hey Folx it’s your favorite slackass… That’d be me if i’m not your favorite slackass… well I’ll go cry in my beer later.

Gearing up to Try to get back into the pimpage again, yeah you’ve heard it before and likely will hear it again… hopefully not for a while and hopefully I’ll get back in the swing of things soon.

Ma isn’t doing well, so my head is not in a  good space right now she’s not eating which means she’s getting weaker her immune system is still tanked her medsd aren’t doing a fucking thing yet the doctors still insist she purchase them (If I find out that any of her docs are getting kickbacks on those useless drugs they refuse to take her off of even though they aren’t having any effect I’ll make sure they never practice medicine again if I have to chew their freaking fingers off to do so) She goes in Friday for a pic line (feeding line) so they can get nourishment in her and maybe some antibiotics – If her cardiologist signs off on it she goes in to have about 75% of her colon removed and the rest resectioned on the 8th.  My Ma’s health has been part of the family drama that has had me on the sidelines most of the year between that and issues with my 18 year old it’s been a dramatic year… have I mentioned I hate Drama.

Things are starting to wind down I hope to start making semi regular posts this month but we all know how many times I’ve said that in the past.

If you could spare a moment and send some positive thoughts or prayers or white light ( or whatever your belief or lack thereof system uses) my ma’s way I appreciate it greatly.  Her name is Shirley Asplund.  She’s the toughest person I know and she’s in the most agony I’ve ever seen her.

At this stage I wish her peace and to be free of pain… Whether in life or death, I just want her suffering to end, you bet your ass I’d prefer in life if I can have it, but I’m not that selfish of a prick to demand my mother live in agony just because I can’t let go.

GamerChickShow – Fun Webseries.

Just popping in do do a quick pimp for a funny show I have recently been exposed to.  I am trying to get back into a regular posting schedule but meatspace drama is still slapping me down… so it’s just quick mini pimps for now until I can kick the drama beast in the nards…. sorry flashback to Monster Squad….

Friend of mine in meatspace pointed me to a series that he helps out on with Music and other odds and ends the Gamer Chick Show.

It’s a great fun little comedy series, So far five episodes are up, and I understand episode six should be up in the near future.  Season one is slated to be a total of eleven episodes and season two is planned for.

Episodes are very short ( four minutes and change to little over 8 per episode) you can catch up on everything on a slow connection in a couple hours, on a fast connection you’ve seen it all in under an hour (37ish minutes if you watch it straight).

For a completely homebrew production it’s put together well, it’s a lot of fun to watch, and you can tell they have a lot of fun working on it.  After I watched the first couple episodes I realized that I actually knew and worked with another member of the crew in the past as well which was a pleasant surprise.

The only complaint I have is I would love more.  Longer Episodes and more episodes.  Given time I think this can blossom to be a lot better, and I think it’s sweet as it is.

It splits between the gamers and the characters played portrayed by the same actor as the player.  With most of the episodes being “IRL” around the table and adventures in life of the main character – Gia.  It plays on the stereotypes of gamers, but not in a condescending way.  After all it’s a show about gaming  and gamers done by gamers.

My friend Buddy (yes that is his real name) who does music for the show has a cameo in Episode 4 at about 3 minutes in.

Check it out – It’s a fun little show with a lot of potential, and I hope it can gain the followership it needs to truly achieve that potential.

I plan on pimping them again when I get fully back in the swing of things and I’ll definitely hit them up for 8 Qs if they want to play when I get back to that point.

URL – http://gamerchickshow.com/

Follow the show on twitter – @gamerchickshow

Not an Excuse – An Explanation and an apology.

Yeah I was supposed to come back strong this summer and get my chubby ass back on track and it didn’t happen.  Without going into details, Life got in the way I had decisions to make between writing and crits vs life drama, and sadly drama won.  Some of it was important, some of it was crap that I should have just brushed aside and gotten back to work but at that point I was so thoroughly out of the habit that it was far easier to just flop on the couch and daze than think.

For that I apologize.  I get distracted very easy, and if I’ve been away from things too long drop me a line and bust my chops about when the next post / review / pimpage is coming out.

I do plan on getting back on track both with Pimpage, and my Accountability.  Summer kinda sucked my will to be responsible this year and that’s not an acceptable excuse, I’m sorry that I let laziness creep in and hold sway this summer all I can say is I will do my best to keep up  with my responsibilities that I undertook of my own free will.  Nobody made me start a blog but I really do need to keep up with it.

Harrass me at @RAsplundJr on twitter or here on the blog when I start slacking.

Worthy Cause – Local Volunteer Emergency Services

My Dad was a volunteer Firefighter when I was little – Hell before I was born, he also dove for the Sheriff’s Marine Unite pulling bodies out of Lakes and Rivers.  Later in life I actually earned myself a EMT-D Certification, I have many family members and friends that have been part of Emergency Services – Fire, Police, Medics, Rescue.  The Volunteer services need your support, almost every town I can think of has at least one volunteer department out of the three, sometimes more than one under the same building.  One thing I’d like you to take into consideration – these crazy er… brave men and women run into danger to keep you safe from it.  These men and women deserve our help, our support, and our thanks.  If you know anyone that takes parts in these services – Thank them for me – or point them here to the blog so they can read my thanks themselves.

Do what you can to help out your local volunteer departments, a few bucks here at their local chili dinners, or whatever fundraisers they put up goes to help them keep you and yours SAFER what better cause is that.

No links because there are too many communities to link all the volunteer services – this one is gonna require legwork.

If you are a volunteer Fire Fighter, Medic, or Officer, or take part in any other volunteer activity associated with Rescue / Public Safety that I’ve overlooked (and if I have I apologize but leave a comment and educate me) I thank you.  People like you are what gives me hope that mankind is not past the point of redemption.  Be safe.

Atheists can stop reading at this point, it’ll just piss you off.

Lord bless the men and women who look after the rest of us, guide them, give them the strength and endurance to perform their tasks then bring them home safe and sound, and thank you for their shining example. Amen.

Review – Flagship 01 – from @FlyingIslandPre

Jumping back in the ring starting with a review.  Going to start with my friends (well a good portion of them are kinda) over at Flying Island Press and their cloud breaking…(it’s a freaking Flying Island you break the ground and people die…) new approach to a paid E-zine.

In the spirit of full disclosure – This review is fairly spoiler free since it is paid content I don’t want to devalue their product It’s all cool some of it VERY FUCKING COOL to find out just how cool make the purchase it’s only $1.99 for your choice of PDF or MP3 or $2.99 for both- I’m trying out a new format for the reviews lemme know what you think.

Date: 7-13-2010

Title: Flagship 01

Author: Flying Island Press / Various Authors

Genre: Sci-fi, Fantasy

Released: July 1st 2010

Price: $1.99 for Either Print PDF or Audio MP3 or 2.99 for Both – Subscriptions available soon

Available At: http://flyingislandpress.com/flagship

Links: http://flyingislandpress.com/flagship

@FlyingIslandPre on Twitter

Media: PDF or MP3

Rating: K for Kick Ass what you want me to pretend I’m the MPAA or the RIAA – Suitable for all ages –  Well at least this Episode

Content: Over all fairly well chosen stories.  Not sure if they were meant to be quick drafts or were finished products but there are definite quality differences in the content.  I disagree with which story they chose as a “Feature Story” but then again I may be thinking along differnt lines then they.

Production: Mostly well put together – Some audio was provided by authors some was done with better equipment / sound quality than others.  Over all not bad, especially for a first issue.

Cast: Varied – Some of the Stories were read by their authors.

Story: Over all I liked the Stories More details under their specific Titles.  The following reviews are as spoiler free as I can make them, after all they’re all good solid stories that alone would be worth the price of Issue one.

Pirate – by H E Roulo – The Featured Story –Good Story though I think it needs a little work.  It’s not bad but I can’t help feeling something is missing.  Very Light hearted in my opinion.  Doesn’t capture me though.  Doesn’t grab on and refuse let go, and other stories in this issue were able to do that.  I think given a little fine tuning the story can be better.  I can’t tell you what is off about it only that something is off.  Like that tasty soup your gramma just made that’s just missing a little something.  If this were pass fail definitely pass, it’s a good story with a nice twist.  Definitely look forward to seeing more from the Author.

Affinity – By Mary Merrell – This was a story that I was about to skip through when it got interesting.  Slow start decent middle and an ending that left me wanting more.  Definitely can’t wait to see more from this Author, and hopefully it will have a little more about what happens to young Talon.  After a slow beginning this story gripped me making me want to know more about the world around our hero.  With some work this could easily become a standalone podcast novel or even a decent podioserial in the vein of the old radio dramas of the past.  Something about this story tells me that expanded and turned into a full cast podcast could be a fun run.

Ruby’s Child – by Phillip Carroll – Not sure if this one made it into the Children of Az series that PG Holyfield released late last year, but if it hadn’t if should have.  I feel this comes a very close second for my favorite of the issue.  Starts strong and keeps pace the entire trip through.  I am going to keep my eyes on this author.

Inciting Incident. – by Bake M Petit – The pacing of this story just seemed off not sure if it was the story or the read.  It’s a fun Super Origin story that definitely needs some work.  I’d like to see more from this world and get a better feel for it.  That might be truly what I need – Yeah sometimes the info dump helps the story instead of killing it.  The pacing of the audio kept getting in the way of letting me drop fully into the story it distracted me enough where I couldn’t fall all the way in.  Still an enjoyable piece and others might not have my same issue.

Apprentice – by Mike Plested – Easily tied for my second favorite of the issue.  I like the way the master wizard and the abbot think.  Good story, good lesson within as well.  Plus I always love a good twist.  Can’t really find anything negative about this story except that it starts a little slow but understandably so.  Hopefully we can see more of Charlie as the time passes I’d like to see where the author could take him if given the chance.

Snake Skin – by Brand Gamblin – WOW… just WOW… This should have been the feature- Easily my favorite story in the issue.  This shouldn’t have surprised me as I loved his podcast novel, and his Calls for Cthulhu videos.  This story took a very different road than I thought it would, it took me by surprise more than once.  Good twists in the story.  This one definitely needs to continue.

The Skinny from the Fat Guy: Again I don’t want to give away any spoilers so the reviews are a little bland.  But as I stated before each of these stories are well worth the cover price (if not more) on their own, all bundled together it’s a freaking steal.  I really can’t wait to see more from the authors of the individual stories, and from Flying Island itself.  I definitely plan on subscribing once they get that fixed.

Overall I give Flagship a hearty recommendation.

I like the fact that viewing the file on my Ipod it actually told me where I could find the stories by time stamp.

Flagship is a very well put together E-Zine it’s a fun ride.

In The Works.

Still getting things together to figure out how to schedule my time so that I can do everything I want to in conjunction with everything I need to.

This week – Likely tomorrow – Review of Flying Island Press Flagship 01.  So far I like it, and I think it’s a steal at twice the price considering how much work went into it.  I plan on posting a review of the stories themselves as well as the entire package.

I’m getting back into the  gear of listening to podfiction, I strayed for a while and was reading regular print books well rereading….  I plan on gettign things back together, I’m just an unorganized slackass so it take time to get my head out ass.

I plan on Randomly pimping cool shit as that what this blog was setup to do.

I plan on continuing to review cool shit as apparently several people enjoy it and it seems to be what I’m getting known for.

I plan on still pimping worthy causes – This is the biggest demand on my time as I have to actually go out and find the causes that I think are worthy.

and I plan on resurrecting 8 Questions.  Though I may put a twist on it.

I’m working on my own fiction, and my family, and trying to get my wow habit back to a reasonable time played instead of soon as my fat ass gets home til I pass out drooling on my laptop….

Things are underway to get back to “normal” production please stay tuned.

Our Guys and Gals in Uniform

Sunday marks the day we in America celebrate our Independence.  It’s a very special day to all of us though most of us use it as an excuse to get obliterated then obliterate things with small explosive charges.  I want to stand back a moment and appreciate the men and Women who have served this nation proudly, are currently serving proudly, and those that will serve proudly, and their families.

To those of you in the armed forces keeping our way of life safe here and abroad thank you.  I can never truly express how proud I am when I see a man or woman walking down the street in uniform.  I want to stop and say thank you but I’m a shy coward.  I truly do thank you and am proud to have been in your presence.

To the families of the men and women who serve, I thank you for the courage to support your loved one.  I pray they make it back to you safe and sound.  To those that have lost loved ones, I truly cannot begin to know how you feel, and honestly I pray that I never find out as I have a son and nephew / unofficial Godson that plan on joining the military.  My condolences to you, and my gratitude towards your loved one’s sacrifice.

There are others closer to home that need to be thought of.  Our Police and Fire Departments and our EMS Crews out there close to home protecting us.  They risk their lives on a daily basis too.  Hell police can get drawn on for pulling someone over for speeding, firefighters run INTO buildings that most sane people are running out of to save our asses, and medics are sometimes up to their elbows in bio hazardous substances to put us back together.   Thank you.

To ALL of our protectors out there I believe we live in a very fucked up place where a guy can get millions for carrying a ball down a field hopped up on steroids and who knows what else, and you get paid too little to protect our lives and freedom from enemies foreign and domestic.

Next time you see a hero in uniform (or out if you know they’re off duty/ on leave) thank them.  Thank them for all the ungrateful fucks out there that forget to thank them.  And please thank them for me, Richard D. Asplund Jr.

Needless to say if you have served / are serving either in the Military, or our local Law, Fire and EMS services and are reading this thank you.  If you know someone that has served / is serving  please forward them the link to this post.  And don’t forget to thank them.  I don’t think we could ever thank them enough if we each thanked them all every second for the next billion seconds.

Thank you for your time.  Americans / Those visiting America – Have a safe, happy , and fun Interdependence day.  For those outside the US Happy 4th of July / Sunday.

Ancestor is coming for You from @ScottSigler

Ladies and Gentlemen… When did ladies and gentlemen start reading this blog?  You slumming with me now?  Well welcome aboard don’t mind the dead bodies… just kick them if they start to move… or if they try to eat your skull watch zombies can get tired pretty easy and they get real hungry when tired…  Now to my intended audience – Most esteemed Dudes and Dudettes and those in various stages in between (hey I can’t exclude the TG crowd they are most excellent peeps and usually a fun to boot).  I come to you today to help Pimp the most Excellent FDO our own Scott Sigler.  Sorry I forgot to throw his other label in there New York Times Best selling Author Scott Sigler.

Next Tuesday – 6-22-2010 – Ancestor is released from Crown.  AN-MOTHERFUCKING-CESTOR – Probably my Favorite of Sigler’s works today.  I’ve been dieing to get my hand on a copy and If I wasn’t married with kids I would have paid the outrageous prices I was seeing for the previous edition of this book.  It’s a tossup between this and Nocturnal.

The Podcast of the redone Ancestor is currently dropping in our feed – Sigler hasn’t missed a day of Dropping Sunday content in 500 years… He kidnapped the Doctor and made him take the FDO back in time just so he can lay claim to that title – that’s how dedicated Scott is to his Junkies.

This book is so full of awesome that I’m half tempted to sleep under my desk for a week here at work just to save commute costs and make sure I can purchase this package of SHEER MOTHERFUCKING AWESOME and a few extra copies to give for Gifts… My Wife would kill me if I did that though… but if she waits until after I read the book it might be worth it…

Pre-order today – Help Scott hit #1 onthe NY Times Best Sellers list.  Make History – Help a great Podcaster  show the world that Podcasting Novels does too work, and to great effect.

Scott Sigler – Media

Podiobooks.Com – http://www.podiobooks.com/podiobooks/search.php?keyword=scott+sigler

Twitter –@ScottSigler

His Site – http://www.scottsigler.comhttp://www.scottsigler.com/

ANCESTOR PREORDER – http://www.scottsigler.com/preorder

ANCESTOR SUPPORT – http://www.scottsigler.com/ancestorsupport

So What Have You Done Lately??

What have you done lately to help you favorite creative content producers??

Have you given them feedback?  Have you purchased any of their works that are available for purchase?  Noticed any glaring errors that you think they need to address?  Have you even stopped for a second and dropped them a quick “Thanks”?

People who are established in the paid markets like Stephen King have a way of tracking their success it’s called a royalty check.  Many of our favorite content providers here in the podioshpere aren’t to that level yet.  They need us to show them support so that someday they can grow to be the giants in the field.  I think it’s author / podcaster John Mireau (@johnmierau on twitter and the Podiobook Serving Worlds) that recently gave the call to action to send a content provider 1 Praise, and 1 Constructive comment.  That’s one thing that I have been striving for since launching random Pimpage.  Past few months I’ve failed but I’ve been taking care of things behind the scenes, and trying to get my head back into a positive headspace instead of the  downward plummet I had been in for a while. (Lots of personal crap that would prolly bore you to tears so I won’t bother to digress into it.)  Here’s the deal.  Find people that you value their content and give back.  Be it a couple bucks on a donate button, or a couple of notes on what you like and what doesn’t work for you on their content.  Just be aware that you can tell them what they should do all day long, but in the end they get to select which votes to count as it is their content so don’t get all pissed off because they “ignored” your immensely inspired and ultimately perfect logic on how they should proceed.  You gotta be you they gotta be themselves too.

I would like to take a moment and thank some truly great people in the community that have inspired me to do more than just sit on my copious ass on the sidelines and participate.

Tee Morris @TeeMonster

Pip Ballantine @PhilippaJane

Scott Sigler @ScottSigler

Mur Lafferty @MightyMur

P.G. Holyfield @PGHolyfield

J.C. Hutchins @JCHutchins

Justin Macumber @JustinMacumber

Terry Mixon @TerryMixon

Ryan Stevenson @RyanEStevenson

Starla Huchton @RiznPhnx

Nathan Lowell @NLowell

Odin @Odin1Eye

Kaye @KMLaw

These are great people that you should check out on Twitter.  Great Authors and Story Tellers, great people to interact with, and fun loving smartasses to boot.  There are many more people that deserve to be on this list but Lunch only lasts for so long before I have to get back to fixing people’s computer issues.

But before I go there is one more person that deserves special thanks and praise… and not just because she lets me sleep with her but that is a nice bonus.  My wonderful supportive HOTTIE wife Misty @TigerLilly11674.

**Mushiness Warning For those of you who do not want to bear witness to Spousal mushiness you can stop reading here for those that don’t care read on… Misty you don’t get a choice you have to read on so there:P **

Thank you for putting up with all my shit, all my faults and foibles, and thank you for being there to inspire me and loving me even when I’m a dumbass.  I love you with all my heart and I thank God every day for bringing you in my life, even on the days you piss me off, oddly enough especially on those days.